Something On HER Mind
by fananicfan
Summary: What happens when Mac thinks she and Harm are dating, but Harm isn't looking at it that way. Unfortuneately, niether one of them knows how the other feels that way until ... read and find out what brings the subject up.


**Disclaimer:JAG and its characters are the property of Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount. No copyright infringement intended.**

**AN: **This story is just one that I had roaming around in my head for a couple of months. After I wrote it, I did post it on the HBX, but for some of you it will be new.

This story takes place a month after Mac's Christmas Eve accident in "Four Percent Solution".

**SOMETHING ON HER MIND**

**by: fananicfan**

**HARM'S APARTMENT**

**LAST SATURDAY NIGHT OF JANUARY**

Harm had checked on their dinner reservations, taken a quick shower, shaved for the second time today, put on his favorite suit, and he still had time to kill.

They were going to a restaurant closer to his place than to hers this evening, giving him too much time on his hands while waiting for her to arrive to pick him up. Well, more like meet him, because he'd drive them to the restaurant in his car.

They'd been having lunch together two or three times a week since her Christmas Eve accident and, since New Year's Eve, they'd been having dinner together almost every night, but dinner on Saturdays were the best in his mind because, on that night, they didn't go out to dinner immediately after work. On Saturday night, they'd go out in civilian clothes, making it feel more like a date than two friends having dinner.

Unsure of what else to do to fill his time while waiting for Mac to arrive, he went to the phone and started to dial a familiar number.

The phone at the other end rang twice before she picked up.

"Hello," came through the line from the young woman who answered.

"Hi, Mattie," Harm said cheerfully.

"Harm, are you calling to cancel?" Mattie asked.

No, I'm still coming out to Blacksburg tomorrow morning. I just thought I'd call to see how school went this week."

"School is school. It was okay. Why are you calling me on a Saturday night?"

"To make sure that you're home on a Saturday night," Harm replied with a chuckle.

His effort to tease her was wasted. She had something else on her mind.

"Have you two broken up?" Mattie questioned.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Harm replied.

"Don't play that game with me, Harm. Jennifer told me that you and Mac have been seeing each other. Did the two of you break up again?"

"I'm afraid that Jennifer has given you false information. Mac and I have been having dinner together. We're friends. We like to spend time together, but we aren't a couple. So, we can't break up."

"But you want to be with her...you still love her, right?"

"It really doesn't matter what I want because, in case you didn't know, it takes two people to want to be together to make a couple."

"Then, what's taking so long? Mac loves you, too."

"How do you know...never mind. I'm expecting a guest any minute now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Mattie didn't want to upset Harm and have him cancel his plans to come out to see her, so her response before they ended their call was, "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow...and tell Mac that I said hi. You know, you should invite her to come with you tomorrow."

Harm hung up the phone and shook his head. He didn't know if he should reprimand Coates for talking to Mattie about him or be thankful that there were people who cared enough about him to be interested in his life.

Harm had no time to dwell on the two options, because there was a knock on his apartment door.

He moved quickly to open the door and was greeted by the warm smile of the woman for whom he'd been waiting impatiently this evening.

"Hey, are you ready to go to dinner?" Mac asked.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Are you okay?" Mac asked, noticing that Harm looked a little out of sorts.

"I'm fine. I was just on the phone with Mattie."

"...And she told you about a boy, and you're freaking out," Mac said with a chuckle.

"No, but thank you for giving me something else to worry about," Harm replied with a serious expression. Not wanting her to ask any more questions, Harm added, "We've got reservations, so we'd better be going."

**IN THE CAR**

Mac had something on her mind and wanted to talk to Harm about it, but she had no idea how to bring it up, so she hadn't said anything.

Since Harm still seemed to be distracted by his phone call with Mattie, he hadn't said anything either.

Five minutes and forty seconds into the drive to the restaurant, Mac was finding the silence uncomfortable. She had to say something. She still hadn't figured out how to bring up what was on her mind, so she opted to ask questions that would let her know what was on Harm's mind.

"What did Mattie say that has you so preoccupied? I hope it wasn't bad news." Mac felt relieved. Even the sound of her own voice was better than the silence, she thought, as she paused to wait for him to respond.

"It wasn't bad news...unless you consider a meddling petty officer bad news."

"What did Coates do?" Mac asked, knowing that the only petty officer that Mattie knew was Jennifer.

"She told Mattie that we ..." He stopped himself from saying more. He didn't know how she'd react to the news that Coates had told Mattie that they were dating - a couple.

"She told Mattie that we were what?" Mac asked curiously.

Harm visibly stiffened. "It doesn't matter. I set the record straight," Harm said firmly.

Harm's reaction to her question made Mac even more curious as to what Mattie had said to him.

The car fell silent again for a few moments until Mac was ready to push the issue with Harm. His answers might give her insight into whether or not she should bring up the topic that she had on her mind.

"Speaking of Coates, with her living next door to you, maybe we shouldn't meet at your place for dinner anymore. She might get the wrong idea and think that we're dating or something...and that might get awkward for you if Jen mentioned it to Mattie."

"Too late for that," Harm said softly before his tone became normal and he added, "...but don't worry. I told Mattie that we're friends and that we just enjoy spending time together, but that we aren't dating."

"We aren't dating?" Mac said like a question, her disappointed tone not going unnoticed by Harm.

"Would you say that we're dating?" His curiosity caused the question to come out of his mouth before he thought about it.

"No, I guess not," she said softly, still sounding disappointed.

The rest of the way to the restaurant, they didn't speak, both too busy with their own thoughts.

Harm was too busy mulling over why she sounded disappointed that they weren't dating since he thought that she didn't want to date him - the word never echoing in his head.

Mac sat in the passenger seat, worrying that she'd read the meaning of these last few weeks all wrong and that he didn't want to move their relationship forward. He was just being kind and reestablishing their close friendship. Knowing that, she was glad that she hadn't said anything about the subject on her mind.

**HILLARD'S**

**WASHINGTON, DC**

Harm pushed a fork full of his grilled salmon entree into his mouth as he watched Mac twirl her fork around in her bowl of pasta like she was trying to wrap spaghetti around it, but considering that she'd ordered bow tie pasta in clam sauce, it was odd behavior.

Knowing Mac like he did, the change in her mood from when she'd arrived at his apartment to now could mean only one thing - she had something on her mind.

Of course, he wasn't being much of a conversationalist tonight, either, because he had something on his mind, too. Did she want to be dating him? He certainly wanted to be dating her. In fact, with her, he was ready for more.

Harm just continued to watch Mac twirl her fork in her bowl of pasta while he mulled over how to ask her if she'd felt like they were dating or if she even was interested in dating him without sounding like he was pressuring her or, worse yet, without sounding like he was completely clueless.

Mac had found the silence in the car uncomfortable, but the lack of conversation over dinner was giving her a chance to recover from Harm telling her that they weren't dating. She was so glad that she'd pushed for answers in the car because she would've felt like an idiot if she'd asked him to go away with her next weekend like she'd planned to do tonight.

"Penny for your thoughts." He was talking to her, his voice finally breaking through the haze in her head.

"I doubt that they're worth that much," Mac responded.

"To me they're worth a lot more than a penny. There's something on your mind...talk to me about it, Mac."

"I'm not sure that there's anything to talk about. I need to think it over a little longer, okay?"

"Okay, but when you're ready, you let me know." He'd promised her that he wouldn't push her, so he had to let this go, but it bothered him that, after their talk at Christmas, she still didn't feel like she could talk to him without thinking so much about it first.

In an effort to take her mind off of whatever she said that she couldn't talk about to him, he turned the conversation in what he thought would lead them in another direction. "I forgot to tell you that Mattie told me to tell you that she said hi."

"That's sweet. You're going to see her tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Then tell her that I said hello," Mac told him.

Harm summoned up the courage from deep within to continue. "She also asked me to invite you to come out to Blacksburg with me. Do you want to go?"

"If she already thinks that we're dating, I don't think that it's a good idea if I tag along with you. She might not believe that you're being truthful with her," Mac answered.

"I guess you're right...and she and I will probably spend a lot of time at the air field. That isn't exactly your idea of good time." He paused for a moment and then asked. "We're still on for dinner at your place tomorrow night, though, right?"

"Sure, I'd love to hear about how your day with Mattie went," she replied with a smile, the first one she'd worn since they'd left his apartment.

"Then it's a date," he said without giving the words that he'd used any thought, and he cringed a little inside. "I didn't mean date like in dinner and a kiss good night -"

Mac cut him off. "- I know what you meant. I just wish that...." Her sentence ended abruptly, and she looked down, staring into her bowl of pasta. Had she really said that out loud, she wondered?

"You wish what, Mac?" Harm asked anxiously.

"It doesn't matter," she answered, still staring into her bowl.

"If it's important to you, then it matters, so tell me what your wish is, Mac."

Mac was undecided about whether or not to tell him that her wish was for them to be together...or at least to finally give it a try.

She knew that, the way she'd been pushing him away prior to Christmas, he wouldn't be inclined to make the first move. She couldn't fault him for that because he was trying to protect himself, but she had to protect herself, too, and she couldn't bring herself to tell him that her wish was for them to be dating...to be moving forward to something together.

"Have you ever thought about our relationship? I mean, how it works."

"No, it works. I don't question it," Harm replied.

"I'm not talking about an in depth analysis, just a quick summary. We're close ... so close that, no matter how much we've pushed the other away...we come back to each other. For me, when you haven't been part of my daily life, I've felt like part of me was missing." Mac paused.

Thinking that her pause was for him to respond, Harm confessed, "I know what you mean. I feel the same way about you."

Mac took in a deep breath. "I wish that I could have a close relationship like the one I have with you with someone who I was dating. It might not be easy, but I'll bet that he and I could make it work."

"Are you sure about that? I seem to remember you telling me that it would never work out between us."

"I know, and I think I was right at the time because of who I was and how you were then, but we've both changed since that night." Mac sighed. "I think we've both changed...grown, so if we were talking about you and me, the two people sitting here having dinner now, I don't think that I'd agree with my statement from back then."

Harm didn't know what to think about what Mac had just said because it sounded a lot like she was saying that, if they gave it a shot, they could make it work...and if that's what she was saying, was she ready to start dating him...really dating him?

"I hate to admit it, but you could be right...about us not working out if we'd have tried back then, I mean."

Harm's response had been awkward, leaving Mac assuming that the thought of them actually dating had made him uncomfortable.

"How's your salmon?" Mac asked, changing the subject to ease Harm's discomfort.

"It's pretty good, but your pasta must be awful because you've eaten hardly any of it."

"It's good. I just don't think that I'm as hungry as I thought I was when I ordered. That's all."

"Maybe you've just had something on your mind that's caused you to be too distracted to remember that we're here to eat," Harm suggested.

"Yeah, it could be that, too," Mac said before she plunged her fork into her bowl of pasta.

Apparently, Mac's appetite returned, because she focused on eating, and very little else was said as they finished their dinner.

**OUTSIDE HARM'S APARTMENT BUILDNG**

Harm parked his car behind Mac's.

"Do you want to come up for a nightcap?" Harm asked, quickly adding, "I make a pretty mean cup of tea."

"I know you do, but I also know that you have to get up early in the morning to travel out to Blacksburg, so I think that we should call it a night, don't you?"

"I guess," Harm said sadly. Regardless of the awkwardness at dinner over the topic of dating, he enjoyed spending time with her.

Harm exited the car, moving quickly to open the passenger door for Mac.

Even though it was only a few feet in front of his car, Harm walked with Mac to the driver's door of her car.

Harm stood next to her car in a way that wouldn't allow her to open the door. He obviously didn't want her to leave yet, but he wasn't saying anything.

The silence between them now was awkward, not uncomfortable. What was uncomfortable was the way that Harm was staring at her like she had three heads or something.

"You got me to my car safe and sound, so it's time for me to go," Mac said, breaking the silence, but she didn't break eye contact with him.

"You sure that you don't want to come up for tea?" Harm inquired.

"You have a long day tomorrow, so unless there's something that you want to talk about, I think I should go home."

"No, I don't have anything to talk about, so you drive carefully." Harm took her into an embrace. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

Mac reciprocated his hug. "That's sweet of you."

"I wasn't being sweet. I want to make sure that you don't have a way of getting out of our date tomorrow night."

Mac pulled back from his embrace. "Our date?" she asked, staring at his lips.

"Yeah, I think it's time to give it a try, don't you?" Harm said softly.

Mac nodded affirmatively before Harm's lips came to hers, touching them briefly before pulling away.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," Mac said softly.

"Yeah, I'll see you then," Harm said in a voice that sounded like he was going hoarse before stepping to the side and opening her driver's door for her.

Mac got into her car. Harm closed her door and watched her drive away from the curb before he headed up to his apartment.

Inside his apartment, Harm got ready for bed, hoping that the sooner he got to sleep, the sooner he'd be greeting a new day, and his first official date with Mac would be that much closer.

When Mac got home, she went to bed with something on her mind, her first date with Harm.

**THE END**


End file.
